In Memory of Omer

Post by Luke

So me and my brother were screwin around with our mums walky talky, and we were having no luck with the signal by waving it around like it was a feather duster. So we tried a different approach.. We pointed it directly at one of our chickens and BAM!

as soon as we pointed it at our chook, the walky talky said, in a hairy, scary, deep, bikey kind of voice..

“I’ll be back at 9:30…..”

horrified, we laughed our knackers off, and tried a different one. This one said, in an angry tone..

“NO GEFF! I DONT WANT ANY FU*KING RAVIOLI!”

The battery was getting low, we had only time for one last chicken. And personally, i thought this one was the best! When we pointed it at our final, and most ‘plump’ chicken, it did not say anything. No.. This one SANG!

it sang some sort of mexican opera which i cant explain,so you’se would just have to use your imagination. :)

Post by Luke

So i was walkin to school, and i was goin down a fairly long street all by myself, and i sneeze.. Really loudly.

Proud of myself, i keep on walking to my destination and suddenly i hear this

BLESS YOOOOOOOOOU!!!

from aaalll the way down the street haha. It made my day.

Post by Hugh.

Today, I feel like writing a post completely back-to-front. So I have

ı ɔɐu,ʇ qǝlıǝʌǝ ʎon ɐɹǝ ɐɔʇnɐllʎ qoʇɥǝɹıuƃ ʇo ɹǝɐp ʇɥıs dosʇ˙ ıʇ,s ɐ ɔoɯdlǝʇǝ’ nʇʇǝɹ ʍɐsʇǝ oɟ ʇıɯǝ˙ ı,ɯ ʍɐɹuıuƃ ʎon ɥǝɹǝ’ ʇɥǝɹǝ ıs uoʇɥıuƃ ʍoɹʇɥ ɹǝɐpıuƃ ɥǝɹǝ˙ ı,ɯ uoʇ ƃoıuƃ ʇo ʍɐsʇǝ ɐ ƃoop sʇoɹʎ ou ɐ ƃıɯɯıɔʞ dosʇ ʍɥıɔɥ uo-ouǝ ıs ƃoıuƃ ʇo ɹǝɐp˙ ʍǝll’ ʇo qǝ ɟɹɐuʞ (qʎ ʇɥǝ ʍɐʎ’ ıɟ ʎon,ɹǝ ɐ ɟɐu oɟ ʇɥǝ dɥɹɐsǝ ,ʇo qǝ ɟɹɐuʞ,’ ɔɥǝɔʞ onʇ ʇɥǝ dosʇ ,ƃoop sɥoʍ’ dɐɹʇ ouǝ˙, ıuɔıpǝuʇlʎ’ ʇɥǝ sǝɔoup dɐɹʇ ıs ɔoɯıuƃ onʇ soou˙ ǝxɔıʇǝp’ ı ɐɯ¡) ı pou,ʇ ɹǝɐllʎ ʞuoʍ ʍɥɐʇ ʇo ʍɹıʇǝ ɐqonʇ˙ ʇɥǝ dɹoqlǝɯ ıs’ ʎon sǝǝ’ ʇo ɯɐʞǝ ʇɥıs dosʇ looʞ ıɯdɹǝssıʌǝ’ ı ɥɐʌǝ ʇo ʍɹıʇǝ bnıʇǝ ɐ qıʇ ɐup ı ɹǝɐllʎ pou,ʇ ɥɐʌǝɐuʎ ɯɐʇǝɹıɐl ʇo ʍɐsʇǝ ou ɐ dosʇ ʍɥıɔɥ uo-ouǝ ɹǝɐps˙ so’ nɯɯ˙˙˙ ʍɥɐʇ ɔɐu ı sɐʎ¿ ı ʞuoʍ¡ ı,ll nsǝ ʇɥıs ʇıɯǝ ɟoɹ ɐ qıʇ oɟ sɥɐɯǝlǝss sǝlɟ dɹoɯoʇıou ɟoɹ ʇɥǝ qloƃ˙ uo-ouǝ ıs ƃoıuƃ ʇo ɹǝɐp ʇɥıs’ ɐuʎʍɐʎ˙ so’ ıɟ ʎon,ɹǝ ɐɔʇnɐllʎ ɹǝɐpıuƃ ʇɥıs’ ƃıʌǝ ns ɐ sɥonʇ ıu ʇɥǝ ɔoɯɯǝuʇs qox qǝloʍ˙ lnʞǝ ɐup ı ʍonlp loʌǝ ʇo ʞuoʍ ɥoʍ ɯɐuʎ ɹǝɐpǝɹs ʍǝ ɐɔʇnɐllʎ ɥɐʌǝ (ʍǝ,ɹǝ dɹǝʇʇʎ snɹǝ ʇɥǝ unɯqǝɹ ıs qǝloʍ ɟıʌǝ)˙ ʍɥılǝ ʎon,ɹǝ ɐʇ ıʇ’ ʍɥʎ uoʇ ʇǝll ɐll ʎonɹ ɟɹıǝups ɐqonʇ ıu ɯǝɯoɹʎ oɟ oɯǝɹ¿ ıʇ’ ʍǝll’ dɹoqɐqlʎ ɔɐu,ʇ ɥnɹʇ˙

Post by Luke

Today i arrived at school in what i thought was perfect uniform, but in fact, wasnt.

Not even 3 seconds was I on school grounds, did a teacher, who we nick-named Mr Table Varnish, yelled the flozmatron outta me!

He took me to his office, he lectured me about Respect, Integrity and some other floppin nonsense (i wasnt really paying attention) anyway, he was so upset in fact, that he asked for my phone number to ring my mum to notify her that he was going to send me home to get changed.

Now, in the heat of this silly waste of time, i was thinking that it would be a fantastic idea to give him the number to a different place.. a hotel.. for example. But then 87 thousand different possible outcomes tsunami’d my brain, and i changed my mind.

As i was leaving for my house, he said to me

“LUKE, i want you there and back in 20 minutes, Or You’ll be in big trouble..” i then complained that it takes me half an hour to get there, and back, not to mention i have to spend 10 minutes to find some clean clothes. He then said

“well you better get movin then”

grumpily upset i headed for the door, Only to be interrupted by a different teacher!
the teacher said to me..

“Luke, you should of just told him to.. Chill.. Out.. or whatever it is you young kids say these days..”

Truer words could never have been spoken better than by our very own under-cover secret agent.. codenamed.. Gangster Greg..

All in all it took me about 50 minutes to get to my home and back with a decent pair of clothes, when all of it couldve been avoided if i just buttoned up my top button, hiding my casual shirt underneath..

Damn you Mr Table Varnish!

Post by Hugh

Sorry about the lack of posts lately from chumps here, but I’ve been rather busy lately. And then there was an incident with a tin of sardines which tried to, well, let’s not go there.

So, I was thinking. Shoes. What good are they really? If humans never invented shoes, then our feet would be far tougher than they are today, therefore there would be no need for shoes other than to give OH&S officials something to write poems about.

So, the fact that shoes, initially, may have been a useless invention poses the question: why were shoes invented in the first place? I have several theories:

1. Scam. Everyone loves money and what better way to make money than sell people things they don’t need? It’s worked for the bottled water industry for years now.

2. Defense. Perhaps there was an era where feet rebelled against their owners. Our feet may have tried to take over the world at one point. Or perhaps our feet simply told bad jokes into the wee hours of the morning while we tried to sleep . If this theory is correct, then I would assume that humans created the shoe as a sort of straightjacket if you will, for our feet. To keep them in check, under control.

3. Accident. Maybe shoes weren’t invented to be worn on the feet. They could have been used as say, a jelly mould or cake tin. Perhaps a house for a mouse or some such small pet. Or even a sturdy glove for the construction industry.

Either way, it’s fishy. Extremely fishy.

What do you think about the invention of shoes? Are they really necessary, or part of a sinister conspiracy. Either way, let us know via the comments box below.

Post by Luke

Well, just about every gamer has played the fantastic n64 prodigy Donkey Kong 64, and if you havnt, i strongly suggest you do.

Anyway, in DK64, there are 2 characters i found rather amusing.

King K-Rool

and his brother

K-lumbsy

the reason i find this so amusing is because, if you get rid of the hyphen, it describes the characters, for King K-rool, it becomes King Krool, seeing as he’s..well..a butt wank. and same for K-lumbsy, he becomes, Klumbsy, because he’s..clumbsy…

Well, i found a most amazing similarity with Kevin Rudd. You see, just take his name

K-rudd, get rid of the hyphen, and BAM!, describes him perfectly :)