Good Show! - Part One
Post by Hugh
Yesterday, I had a spot of bother when some confusion sprouted between my friend, Frank and myself.
You see, I remember it, as it was yesterday. I had long suspected my friend Frank of buying non-free range eggs and felt compelled to do something about this, his one unforgivable flaw.
So, I met young Frank at my local coffee shop, ‘The Old Bean’. He was first to arrive. After a few minutes of absently staring at a safety sign which depicted a hermit crab ‘stop, drop and roll’ing, I saw Frank appear at the shop front. He seemed overcome with emotion. Finally he seemed to pull himself together. “How are you, Old Bean?” he murmured and wondered inside.
Frank and I chatted for quite some time about an new invention we had heard about on the wireless. In London, or so we had heard, some chap had invented an entertainment device, much like the radio, but you can actually see it. Both Frank and I agreed it was a vast improvement on the old, fully opaque wirelesses we’re accustom to listing to.
After a while, I thought to myself, ‘Well, this is the time, you have to confront Frank about those free range eggs. It’s now or never’.
“Oh, Frank, old chap…” I tailed off.
“Yes?” replied Frank.
“Oh, it’s just,” I began, “To be frank, I thi-“
“To be Frank?” Frank repeated, sounding dreadfully confused. “But…I thought I was Frank?”
“Oh!” I said, realising what Frank was thinking, “Don’t worry, old bea-“
“Or am I?” Frank said, staring at his palms, “Who am I really? Am I really Frank? Or is all this just a dream? Who am I, really? Beethoven, Dickens…” This was silly, I had to snap Frank out of this nonsense.
“Frank! Don’t be churlish! You’re not Beethoven, old chap! He was German!”
“Yes, that’s right,” he whispered under his breath. “I know who I am.”
“Who?”
“Yes, it has to be. I am the Queen of England!”
“No Frank! Wait, where are you going?” Frank had leapt to his feet.
“I must leave, royals must not be seen in such lowly coffee shops.”
“But you love The Old Bean!” Frank ignored me and ran out the door.
I haven’t seen him since. Although, I’m planning to visit his residence this afternoon for tea and scones. Let’s see if I can’t talk him round.
