Shoes. Just what do we know about them?
Post by Hugh
Sorry about the lack of posts lately from chumps here, but I’ve been rather busy lately. And then there was an incident with a tin of sardines which tried to, well, let’s not go there.
So, I was thinking. Shoes. What good are they really? If humans never invented shoes, then our feet would be far tougher than they are today, therefore there would be no need for shoes other than to give OH&S officials something to write poems about.
So, the fact that shoes, initially, may have been a useless invention poses the question: why were shoes invented in the first place? I have several theories:
1. Scam. Everyone loves money and what better way to make money than sell people things they don’t need? It’s worked for the bottled water industry for years now.
2. Defense. Perhaps there was an era where feet rebelled against their owners. Our feet may have tried to take over the world at one point. Or perhaps our feet simply told bad jokes into the wee hours of the morning while we tried to sleep . If this theory is correct, then I would assume that humans created the shoe as a sort of straightjacket if you will, for our feet. To keep them in check, under control.
3. Accident. Maybe shoes weren’t invented to be worn on the feet. They could have been used as say, a jelly mould or cake tin. Perhaps a house for a mouse or some such small pet. Or even a sturdy glove for the construction industry.
Either way, it’s fishy. Extremely fishy.
What do you think about the invention of shoes? Are they really necessary, or part of a sinister conspiracy. Either way, let us know via the comments box below.
